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To An Inveterate Arguer.

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“Messi is the best player of all time,” James cackled.
“No o, you can’t say that, Ronaldo is the main man. He was crowned few weeks ago” Oluwatobi retorted.
“It’s a lie! It’s a lie “James began to reiterate.
And that was how a brawl started betwixt them.
And I began to wonder “on top another person matter?”

I love Adewale for something, if he says “As Christians, we shouldn’t be spiritual assassins” and you try to counter him by saying, “So you mean we should suffer the witches to thrive? That’s arrant nonsense, we should kill them with our spiritual guns.” He will just smile at you and avoid any arguments and chasm that may ensue due to the lack harmony.

Dale Carnegie said “you can’t win an argument because if you lose, you lose it; and if you win, you lose it.”
Do you know why I agreed with him? When you win your opponents, you lose the bonds with them. Because you have made him look inferior and less competent. The best way to win an argument is to avoid it.

I have a friend I always avoid because he is an inveterate arguer. This implies that you are bound to lose friends when you argue on every matter.

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How to avoid arguments.

1. As much as possible avoid any arguments. Just let the matter slip or you can tell yourselves to go and study more on that matter. You know when you argue with a fool, you end up becoming a fool too.

2. Control your temper. You tend to be more defensive and aggressive when you argue. This has led to the death of many people.

3. Listen more, talk less. Listen to your opponent’s “facts and truths.” Who knows you might be the one with a wrong opinion and that will prevent you from making a fool out of yourself.

4. Be honest. You tend to exaggerate when you argue. When you argue, you make errors. And that deepens the argument.

5. Google what you are arguing about. Thank God for our modern world today, you can google anything or any information about what you are arguing about. And also if it has to do with biblical or doctrinal arguments get a Bible and check for the answers in order to save yourselves from “headache.”

Arguments have always been a small spark that burns big forests and great skyscrapers. As much as possible avoid it. Don’t always stay on your highway, try and see some issues from the perspective of others. It shows that you are matured and couth.

Bamigbola Silas.

Heirloom

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Those sofas in the parlour have become family heirlooms which have been passed on from my great-grandfather, grandfather and now to my father. The only thing that has changed about those sofas is the clothing or should I say their ‘jacket.’
I wonder why father so much cherish them and has refused to change them to better and more modern ones. He has always said that, those chairs are part of his life and they remind him of his own grandfather (that is my own Great-grandfather) and his deft designs while he was a carpenter.

Mother once cautioned me, “Ololade, you better be careful with that chair you are jerking on and do not break its handle. Don’t you know it’s older than you?” Older than me? Like seriously? Did mother actually expect me to rise up every morning and venerate those chairs by prostrating before them? Wouldn’t it be an insane thing to do? But truly, I doubt if those chair handles could easily break. At least they are not like the modern and fancy ones sold around this days.

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But I hope soon and very soon, father breaks this his principle of treasuring all those heirlooms and get modern ones to replace them. Because, I’m tired of seeing those old chairs and his old wardrobe staring at me everyday and saying “Ori e o pe, don’t you have respect?”

Father shouldn’t even think of passing them down to me. Never! Never!! But I wouldn’t mind if he gives me his cars and company when he dies in years to come.

Bamigbola Silas.