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To An Inveterate Arguer.

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“Messi is the best player of all time,” James cackled.
“No o, you can’t say that, Ronaldo is the main man. He was crowned few weeks ago” Oluwatobi retorted.
“It’s a lie! It’s a lie “James began to reiterate.
And that was how a brawl started betwixt them.
And I began to wonder “on top another person matter?”

I love Adewale for something, if he says “As Christians, we shouldn’t be spiritual assassins” and you try to counter him by saying, “So you mean we should suffer the witches to thrive? That’s arrant nonsense, we should kill them with our spiritual guns.” He will just smile at you and avoid any arguments and chasm that may ensue due to the lack harmony.

Dale Carnegie said “you can’t win an argument because if you lose, you lose it; and if you win, you lose it.”
Do you know why I agreed with him? When you win your opponents, you lose the bonds with them. Because you have made him look inferior and less competent. The best way to win an argument is to avoid it.

I have a friend I always avoid because he is an inveterate arguer. This implies that you are bound to lose friends when you argue on every matter.

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How to avoid arguments.

1. As much as possible avoid any arguments. Just let the matter slip or you can tell yourselves to go and study more on that matter. You know when you argue with a fool, you end up becoming a fool too.

2. Control your temper. You tend to be more defensive and aggressive when you argue. This has led to the death of many people.

3. Listen more, talk less. Listen to your opponent’s “facts and truths.” Who knows you might be the one with a wrong opinion and that will prevent you from making a fool out of yourself.

4. Be honest. You tend to exaggerate when you argue. When you argue, you make errors. And that deepens the argument.

5. Google what you are arguing about. Thank God for our modern world today, you can google anything or any information about what you are arguing about. And also if it has to do with biblical or doctrinal arguments get a Bible and check for the answers in order to save yourselves from “headache.”

Arguments have always been a small spark that burns big forests and great skyscrapers. As much as possible avoid it. Don’t always stay on your highway, try and see some issues from the perspective of others. It shows that you are matured and couth.

Bamigbola Silas.

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Heirloom

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Those sofas in the parlour have become family heirlooms which have been passed on from my great-grandfather, grandfather and now to my father. The only thing that has changed about those sofas is the clothing or should I say their ‘jacket.’
I wonder why father so much cherish them and has refused to change them to better and more modern ones. He has always said that, those chairs are part of his life and they remind him of his own grandfather (that is my own Great-grandfather) and his deft designs while he was a carpenter.

Mother once cautioned me, “Ololade, you better be careful with that chair you are jerking on and do not break its handle. Don’t you know it’s older than you?” Older than me? Like seriously? Did mother actually expect me to rise up every morning and venerate those chairs by prostrating before them? Wouldn’t it be an insane thing to do? But truly, I doubt if those chair handles could easily break. At least they are not like the modern and fancy ones sold around this days.

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But I hope soon and very soon, father breaks this his principle of treasuring all those heirlooms and get modern ones to replace them. Because, I’m tired of seeing those old chairs and his old wardrobe staring at me everyday and saying “Ori e o pe, don’t you have respect?”

Father shouldn’t even think of passing them down to me. Never! Never!! But I wouldn’t mind if he gives me his cars and company when he dies in years to come.

Bamigbola Silas.

Gray Love

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He was the shadowy shallow man
who acts like a fastidious, prude puritan
Putting every man on a slate,
Sternly slating soiled sinners.
He seems to have the ‘book of life’ in his hands
And with pencil and eraser
He spells the wrath of wretched sinners
“You! you did this and this and that
You will rot in seething sulphurs”

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As He juries us,
He forgot he was also black and not white;
Now, we have spelt “Love” backward front
And it looks like “Hate.”
He has made us misunderstand God.

Grace is not actually what they have painted it to be:
Grace is spelt love
Grace appeared to all men
And love white and black as well.
Wouldn’t I call Grace gray?

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So I told gray love
“I’m a fetid filth
Whose life touse apart.”
“I know,” HE said,
“here’s red”
HE wiped my slate clean
Now, black has become white.

Bamigbola Silas

What Do You Take In And Chew?

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Reading comes naturally to some people, like one of my friends that can read a book of 350 pages(especially a novel) in a day. I’m phlegmatic, reading does not really come naturally to me. I’m more inclined to calculations to sitting down for hours reading some random books. Though now I’m improving when it comes to reading (at least I read a chapter of a book per day). I also prefer to learn through videos, audios and other easier means of garnering knowledge.

Meditating is also not an easy task. Sitting down for hours to meditate, that I can’t really do because of my spontaneous behavior. Great people meditate. So I prefer to do mine on the go. Like when I’m on my way to lectures or back from lectures and when I do my chores and most especially when I’m in the bathroom or toilet.

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Not minding how you take in and how you chew, the most important question here should be what do you take in and what do you chew?

Being curious can be a double edged sword, like it can either make you read wide or wild.
OK, have you ever read materials that make you doubt the existence of God? At some point I have done that. It made me logical and analytical on spiritual things.
What we read, listen to, and watch have a high propensity to brainwash us and instil different ideas, ideals and principles into us.
They form the basics of what we believe and how we act.

Apart from learning languages and getting intoxicated with words. I have seen wack ideologies of which I can’t buy from the few materials I have laid my hands on. Like some that actually teach you the direct opposite of your religion and moral standings. Can you imagine someone saying God supports gayism, Jonathan and David were gay and gay means “God adores you.” (note, I’m not saying God does not love them, he still does and his son has died for them already, all they need to do is to acknowledge that and accept his son.) but trying to chock that into our throats is what I refute.

What we take in and chew is very important. There is a beast(flesh) in us and a white gentle sheep in us. Which ever we feed thrives in us.

I’m a Christian and I believe in the word of God and I have vowed that nothing will define my idiosyncrasies apart from God’s word. So everyday, I strive to listen to my master so that I can feed the white gentle sheep (his holy spirit) in me and starve the beast (flesh) in me. They are always in contention with each other according to Galatians 5:17, but you alone determine who wins.

best-books-book-youll-ever-read.jpgBrian Tracy once said, “Whatever you dwell upon grows and increases In your life.”

So they are like cancer that spreads rapidly like wild fire. When you think and talk about them, they get deeper and deeper into your subconscious mind.
So mind what you take in and chew.

Bamigbola Silas.

Two things stopped doing.

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Two things I stopped doing (should I say since a long time ago?)

1. I stopped saying “I’m proud to be a baptist,” Yea, I was born a baptist, went to all their programmes and for real that’s why I’m standing now. But I have come to understand God hates sectarianism, *in fact Jesus rebuked his disciples when they told him of someone who was not part of them who called and used his name to heal. So now I believe it’s fine for me to say “I’m proud to be a Christian.” Even in our diversity Christ is what makes us One.
I debunk bigoty denominationalism.

2. I stopped knowing God on a surface or general level; Knowing God on the basis of what my pastor said or any other person said. I found out that knowing God personally is cool. You get to know him for who he is and what he can do and what he is incapable of doing through his word. Now no one can toss me around like a die 🎲, If it’s not in the word of God, I won’t go with it.

Reference
* Mark 9: 38-41

A Letter To The Female folks. 

To the association of ladies, 
Please help me to tell Shade that I was not given birth to with on/off eyes, my eyes are wide open daily except when I sleep, sleeping is even a voluntary action not a reflex action.

So don’t force me to close my eyes all day. 
Help me to tell Lola my brain and mind draw pictures, even though i’m a science student, I know the theater art that is upstairs. Where there is no night and on no day is its gate ever shut. It acts out everything I see day in day out. 

Please don’t hypnotise my mind. 
Help me to tell Tola, that I am saved does not infer that my libido was taken away. It was my sin that was taken away. So all the rubbing of her body on mine is a chemistry I don’t really understand. 

Please don’t make me wet.
Help me tell them, we all have equal rights to the streets, at least I don’t need to hit my legs to the stone while walking. Tell them, we all have equal rights to worship on Sundays, I don’t need to be distracted while worshipping. Tell them we all have equal rights to learn in the lecture theatre and practical hall,  I don’t need to be distracted while lectures are going on. 
Tell them we don’t need slayers, we need life givers. 

Tell them we don’t need destroyers, we need builders. 

Tell them modesty still counts. It still counts.

Tell them our tongue talking Brothers can still fall all because of their harmless touches. 

Help our brothers. 
Thanks as you deliver my message to them.
From

The Male folks. 

MY 2016 ANECDOTE. I

2016 was a great year, at least it’s not like other years, twas my friend at some point and my fiendful frenemy at another point. As I fluxed through the year, I learnt many things that made my life better.

Times and season surfaced, I got so used to some seasons that when another surfaced again, adapting to the new one becomes a problem. Those brooding moments made me scared of my aloneness, I am not sure of what I would have done to myself if I had never found a better camaraderie in the Holy Spirit, then he was my spouse who was ready to listen to all my ‘jargons’ and supposed sense. Well I wrote more psalms to God in my head like David (though David’s own was on the scroll) this year. Depression was also my friend at some point, I’m a weak guy when it comes to words, I’m very vulnerable to them, that’s why I love to stay offish from those who spill out rubbish (curse words or dissuading words). Words made me depressed maybe twas because I loosed touch with the words of my Lord at some point and I seek validation from men. But now I’ve learned to stay with the words of God because him alone gives hope in times of despair.

I also had my time of joy and happiness, those times were beautiful I must confess.

Friends were also great asset this year, God did answer my prayers, I told him he should send great friends my way this year and he did, I’m eternally grateful for that (I hope to appreciate them soon).
This year I became better, books became fascinating to me, I read over 10 major books with many other PDF books and uncountable great articles that have shaped my life and made me better than I was last year.

One other thing this year taught me to do is how to hold on to God no matter what situation(good and bad) I pass through. I learned to trust and I’m still learning. My spiritual life wasn’t that rosy, if I must say twas more rocky, but God didn’t give up on me. He knew my weaknesses and he is still working on me to be the best version of myself. I won’t give up, I will be better and I will be more like him.
To be continued…..
MY 2016 ANECDOTE.
Bamigbola Silas.